Osmany Laffita, fashion designer
Written by: Anita Lišková
Art: Nenad Vitas
What did you want to become when you were a kid?
A doctor, but fortunately I was talked out of it in time. Pity the poor patients!
What do you like most about yourself?
My face and my sense of humor.
What truth would you like people to know about you?
That I’m a sweetheart, hard working, and caring.
What do you most like to do during the day?
Watch Latin-American soap operas.
What was the last thing to be stolen from you?
My illusions, time, and a mobile phone.
What gift would you like to receive?
A tiger and a house in Havana.
What do you always have in your fridge?
Water and mustard.
What’s your favorite insult?
Your worst nightmare?
That I can’t draw. A horrible prospect!
What do you like about men, and what do you most dislike about them?
Stature and sense of humor. I can’t stand fear of change.
What do you like about women, and what do you most dislike about them?
Graceful lines, beauty, elegance, and healthy self-confidence. But not the unisex or anorexic appearance.
What is your favorite drug?
When do you feel lower than a dog?
Which one? I have three at home.
If you had a dinner party and could invite five people from any place or period in history, who would they be, and why?
Marilyn Monroe, because people like glamour at a party. The Empress Sissy, because she would wear a gown made of many meters of material, which I would sell to her. The Empress Soraja, so I could ask her what it’s like to have a wedding gown with 6,000 diamonds. And Keanu Reeves and Johnny Depp to entertain the people there.
Do you have to be in love to make love, or can you make love without loving?
Sex without love is okay, but then it isn’t love.
What is the best place for making love?
Come and try it with me, and I’ll show you.
For whom do people mistake you?
It’s hard to mistake me for anyone; my long braid isn’t something you often see.
If you won the lottery and no longer had to work to make a living, what sort of work would you do?
If I won, why would I want to work? I’d leave the working to others, and I’d just watch.
Would you take a trip into space?
If they had more elegant space suits, why not? I just hope the Martians are better looking than we imagine.
How would you dress a space delegation?
In sexy black outfits and high heels, because astronauts are all short.
Would you like to act in an action film?
If Tom Cruise was in it, sure, but with Arnold Schwarzenegger, never.
Which well-known persona would you like to outfit?
Nicole Kidman, considering today’s choices.
How would you want to die?
Mainly no time soon.
What would you like your gravestone to say?
Do not disturb.