Alain Chlala, restauranteur
Written by: Philippe Riboton
Art: Nenad Vitas
What did you want to be when you were a child?
In which country would you most like to live?
What is never missing from your fridge?
Water, fruit and French cheese.
What was the last thing stolen from you?
How do you get up in the morning?
On my left leg.
What is your favorite activity during the day?
To try to understand the strategy of the Bush-Rumsfeld-Cheney trio.
The best place to make love?
In a jacuzzi.
The worst place to make love?
In a car.
Do you need to love to make love or do you need to make love in order to love?
I don’t want to love, I only want to make love.
What do you like most about women, and what do you despise?
Their body; their questions.
What do you like most about men, and what do you despise?
A frank handshake; their curiosity.
Do you think it is better to say everything or not to know everything?
To say everything.
Who is your favorite fictional character?
What’s your favorite insult?
Kess Ekhtak (Lebanese for “son of a bitch”)
Your favorite saying?
Hallelujah, I can piss normally.
Your favorite meal?
Warak enab (Lebanese lamb dish).
Which meal can you prepare yourself?
Moulokhiye (Lebanese spinach ragout with rice and rabbit or chicken).
If you were organizing a dinner to which you could invite five people from any place and any era, who would you invite?
The Pope, Gorbachov, Shimon Perez, the Dalai Lama, and Václav Klaus.
If you had to sacrifice one of your senses (sight, hearing, taste etc.) which one would it be?
I would sacrifice sex, so I can live in peace.
If you won a lottery and no longer had to work, what occupation or vocation would you pursue?
Peace among people.
Which of your dreams has come true?
To be able to see through walls.
What is your worst nightmare?
To have dinner with G.W. Bush.
Did you ever make an unusual bet? What happened?
I had a bet about the fall of the Roman empire; it came true.
What would be the first thing you would warn an extraterrestrial creature?
That it’s not the right place to be.
How would you like to die?
What would you like written on your gravestone?
He died poor, but rich in his life.