Written by: Anita Lišková
Art: Nenad Vitas

What country would you like to live in?
When I’m at home I dream about other countries. When I’m away I dream about home. Probably not anywhere else, flying there for visits is good enough for me.

Who is your favorite fictional character?
Woody Allen in his early movies (Bananas, etc.).

Where will you never go back to?
I’ve never left my childhood, so I can go wherever I want.

What was the last thing that was stolen from you?
All my personal documents. I searched every trash can in Wenceslas Square, about ten police stations, and the same number of photomats.

Which present would you like to get?
From myself? Peace and quiet. Nothing to do, just sit around, sleep, take a walk around town, and imagine making up a book everyone would like, but never writing it. From someone else? Mainly nothing noisy – maybe binoculars, a painting or sculpture, something silent.

What do you always have in the fridge?
I always have everything I need at home. In hotels, what I want is never there.

Your favorite saying?
A line from a poem: “A gentle smile on the lips, sorrow in the heart” (Mácha).

Your favorite insult?
It’s in French: petit con (You damned idiot).

What do you like in men, and what do you despise?
Looking each other in the eye. Ongoing efforts to escape.

What do you like in women, and what do you despise?
Looking each other in the eye. Ongoing efforts to creep away.

Are you lucky in life?
You bet, and I’d like lots more luck.

If you had a dinner party and could invite five people from any period in history, who would they be, and why?
Rimbaud, Woody Allen, James Bond, my father, and if my wife couldn’t make it, then some raven-haired Hollywood star. Why? I’d have something to look at and something to listen to.

Do you have to be in love to make love, or can you make love without being in love?
These days, the former. There were times…

Where is the best place to make love?
In bed. But it can be anywhere.

Do you think it’s better to always know the truth, or not to know anything?
You have to gravitate towards truth. Sometimes knowing everything can throw you off the path to truth.

How do you get up in the morning?
Early and unhappily. How is it possible that scientists haven’t discovered another way to shave?

Whom do people mistake you for?
Zappa, when I was young. Now with everyone, or no one, or with myself – but it’s as if they were talking with someone other than the person I know very well: myself.

Would you like to travel in space?
For sure. I’ve read thousands of sci-fi stories.

What would be the first thing you’d tell aliens about?
The first person to speak the truth will be crucified.

Would you like to appear in an action movie?
Certainly. Even Sean Connery wore a wig to play James Bond.

Have you ever made an unusual bet, and how did it turn out?
Not yet. But I’d bet you that you’re a brunette. I don’t want to know the consequences. I just gravitate towards truth.

Do you like happy ends?
So are you a brunette, or aren’t you?