Written by: Anita Lišková
Art: Nenad Vitas
What did you want to be when you were a kid?
Everything, A doctor, an astronaut, an actor, you name it. I was really clear.
In which country would you like to live?
A tax-free one, or failing that, Kashmir.
Do you think it is better to say everything or not to know everything?
I am not sure how I should answer that – in which case one could argue that I believe it’s better not to know everything.
What was the last thing that was stolen from you?
Passport, driver’s license, Czech residency permit, credit cards and cash, all at the same time.
What is the best place to make love?
Anywhere that’s forbidden.
What is the worst place to make love?
Anywhere that’s forbidden if you get caught.
Do you need to love to make love or do you need to make love in order to love?
I need to love in order to make love, but it was different when I was younger.
What do you like the most about women and what do you despise?
I like the fact that women aren’t completely focused on the appearance of the opposite sex as the only factor for finding someone attractive. I depise the fact that women always seem to answer a question with a question.
What do you like the most about men and what do you despise?
I like the fact that most men are kids. I despise men who are misogynists.
Who is your favourite fictional character?
Tony Blair. No, seriously…Santa Claus. Here’s a small resumé: Claus, Santa.
Age: 1,600 years plus
Hometown: New York City; North Pole
Marital Status: Married, no children
Your favorite insult?
Asking someone, “How much more stupid is it possible for you to be?” People have even tried to answer that!
Your favorite saying?
Vision without execution is a hallucination.
Which meal can you prepare yourself?
Many, thank you! I grew up in a situation which required it. I’m not saying it tastes good, though.
If you were organizing a dinner to which you could invite five people from any place and any era, whom would you invite?
Newton, Einstein, Plank, Shakespeare and Henry VIII.
What would you like to have written on your gravestone?
He never gave up.
If you won in a lottery and no longer had to work to earn a living, what occupation or vocation would you pursue?
Spending it till I had to work again.
Which of your dreams has come true?
Having a son.
Would you travel to the universe?
I don’t understand. We’re in the universe, or were at least the last time I checked.
What would be the first thing you would warn an extraterrestrial creature?
Don’t come to Earth, the taxes are too high.
Do you like happy endings?
Not all of them…unless they are deserved