Written by: Anita Lišková
Art: Nenad Vitas
What did you want to be when you were a kid?
A tinker. There was a cat fashioned from wire on the wall over my parents’ bed. I saw it as a symbol of our family.
In which country would you like to live?
On a Polynesian island. With a big harem and my own plane.
What is the meaning of your life?
The standard things – children and work.
What truth about yourself would you like people to know?
That I don’t steal and I like doing things that help others.
Who is your favorite fictional character?
Brouk Pytlík. (a children’s story character)
What’s your favorite daytime activity?
Either nothing or everything. It depends on that first morning impulse, whether it comes or not.
To where will you never return?
To my stupid, very retarded childhood.
What was the last thing that was stolen from you?
My heart, but only for a while.
What gift would you like to receive?
A cigar or a bottle of whiskey. That’s all I’ve wanted for years.
What do you like about men, and what do you despise?
I like being able to be friends with men. I can’t stand male nudity.
What do you like about women, and what do you despise?
I can’t stand not being able to be friends with women. I like female nudity a lot.
If you were organizing a dinner to which you could invite five people from any place and era, whom would you invite?
Old Shatterhand, Gustav Jelen, John Carter, Jarek Metelka, and Brouk Pytlík, because I’d be happy with them for sure.
Which of your dreams have come true?
Being director of the zoo.
Do you have to be in love to make love, or can you make love even without love?
I can do everything without everything.
Do you think it’s better always to know the truth or not to know anything?
That’s a banal question. Only a fool wants to know the truth.
How do you get up in the morning?
I don’t know. I always oversleep.
What with the fashionable wave of musicals, are you cooking something up from a zoo environment?
There’s already been one – at the Dresden Opera House, about our famous seal Gaston.
Which animal would you like in your family coat-of-arms, and why?
My dog – Kuba, a Labrador. Because I love him.
Would you like to travel in space?
Sure, but I wouldn’t want to come back.
How would you like to die?
I don’t care. Maybe right now.
What’s your favorite drug?
Alcohol and biting my nails.
Have you ever made an unusual bet, and what was the result?
For a parachute jump. I lost, and jumped. It was awful.
Do you like happy endings?
If I believe them, sure. In other words, mostly no.